What does a tender guy bequeathed £500 and an elephant with a style for liquor do? Adrian Whistle thinks he has the reply - he will supply her to the circus. however it is not so easy.
Together Adrian and Rosy reduce a swathe of terror and destruction throughout the peaceable geographical region of southern England. inebriated or sober, Rosy spreads chaos in her wake, until eventually her hapless sufferers declare the whole majesty of the legislation opposed to her . . .
'His uproarious first novel.' Daily Mirror
'Comic havoc!' New York Times
'Enchanting . . . superbly told.' Scotsman
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Extra resources for Rosy Is My Relative
What d’ye suggest? ’ he acknowledged in a muted roar, articulating with trouble. ‘What d’ye suggest: strong afternoon? Is that your filthy, verminous, misbegotten, shapeless animal, hi there? ’ He pointed a quivering finger at Rosy, who had plucked herself a host of lengthy grass and daisies and was once fanning herself with it to maintain the flies off. ‘Oh, that,’ acknowledged Adrian, as if the presence of an elephant had escaped his detect till that second, ‘that good, certain, in a manner you'll say it was once mine. ’ ‘Well, what the satan d’ye suggest, sir? ’ roared the grasp. ‘Stampin’ approximately within the meadows with a rattling’ nice misbegotten elephant . . . wearing that obscene gown . . . frightenin’ the hounds . . . terrifyin’ the ladies . . . even frightenin’ the horses . . . what the satan d’ye suggest by way of it, Sir? ’ ‘I’m extraordinarily sorry,’ acknowledged Adrian contritely. ‘We have been simply having a quiet swim, you notice, and we didn’t recognize you have been all coming this manner. ’ ‘D’you usually,’ enquired the grasp with lethal calm, ‘d’you often go back and forth throughout the nation-state, swimming in different people’s rivers, frightenin’ the salmon, followed by means of a misbegotten elephant? ’ ‘Not often, no,’ Adrian admitted, ‘but I’m afraid it's going to take too lengthy to provide an explanation for. ’ ‘I can clarify it,’ shouted the grasp, attending to his toes. ‘You’re a lunatic, Sir, a legal lunatic, that’s what you're. Gallopin’ round the nation worryin’ the search, frightenin’ the fish and doubtless the birds to boot . . . a lunatic. I shall have you ever and the misshapen beast lower than lock and key, sir, see if I don’t. I shall sue for damages and for trespass. I shall get you 5 years’ penal servitude. The cost may perhaps also be tried homicide, sir, what d’you reflect on that, hiya? the instant i am getting again to the village I shall have the legislation on you, mark my phrases. ’ ‘Look,’ acknowledged Adrian in a panic, ‘I rather am so much tremendously sorry, but when you’d simply permit me clarify. you notice, your horses and canines . . . ’ ‘Dogs? ’ hissed the grasp, his face regaining its pink hue, ‘dogs? Hounds, Sir, hounds. ’ ‘Well, your hounds,’ acknowledged Adrian, ‘it’s simply that they’re now not used to elephants. ’ The grasp drew a protracted quivering breath and solid a fierce eye over the meadow, the place huntsmen, in a variety of phases of disarray, have been mountaineering shakily to their toes and endeavouring to seize their terrified horses. ‘Yes, i will see they’re now not used to elephants,’ acknowledged the grasp, ‘and shall I allow you to right into a mystery, you misbegotten peasant? THEY’RE no longer alleged to BE USED TO ELEPHANTS! ’ Adrian needed to admit that he had some extent there. The grasp picked up the continues to be of his best hat and positioned it on his head. ‘As quickly as i am getting again to the village I shall have you ever and your blasted elephant arrested, mark my words,’ he acknowledged, and strode off after the remainder of the dirty, limping huntsmen. because the final of them fixed and trotted out of the sphere, Adrian became to Rosy. ‘Now glance what you’ve done,’ he acknowledged bitterly, ‘and simply whilst i assumed every thing used to be going alongside o.k.. You’ve long past and mucked every little thing up back . . . now we’re going to be arrested.